New program offers Lajes Airmen skills to grow relationships

by Staff Sgt. Zachary Wolf
65th Air Base Wing Public Affairs

9/16/2014 - LAJES FIELD, Azores, Portugal -- Separation. Miles away and across an ocean. This is the reality for Airmen coming to Lajes Field. The separation is from those they care about, those individuals that they have a relationship with, whether it is a spouse, friends or family.

There is something that bridges this vast gap caused by the ocean, and that is technology. Airmen can be face-to-face with their loved ones in real time, thanks to technology. The same technology helps people find someone they may never have met before and start a relationship that would never had happened if not for technology.

"I knew from my Graduate (Alternative Dispute Resolution) program that the technology is available to mediate a divorce online," said Sandra Moore, 65th Air Base Wing community support coordinator. "I combined that knowledge with reports such as USA Today that reported more than one third of relationships begin online. If relationships can begin and end online, we should be able to address the middle with communication skills to help relationships pull together, rather than waiting for them to fall apart."

Moore started putting a program together and with the help of many others came up with the Resilient Relationships class.

While attendees enjoy pizza and water, they are greeted by Moore and short YouTube videos.

"Rather than one 15-minute video with 20 to 40 minutes of discussion, we needed short , 2 to 10 minute videos, that are rich in content, followed by frequent, but short, 5-minute discussions for each video," Moore said. "Additionally, the discussion should not be focused on telling Airmen what to think and shouldn't reveal intimate details in a relationship."

The videos were chosen because Airmen could easily watch them with someone and then discuss the content.

"We've used a bunch of YouTube videos, which I think really is a modern Airman's language; something that Airmen are very familiar and comfortable with," Moore said.

As Lajes transitions to 100 percent unaccompanied, there are still families here. One spouse, Susan Headrick, wife of Tech. Sgt. Ryan Headrick, sat in on the program that highlighted technology to keep in touch and build relationships.

"Communication is key," Headrick said. "I use Skype, cell phone messaging and email to talk to my husband while he is TDY or deployed."

Whether it's before, during or after a long separation, this program is here to help Airmen grow in their relationships that are far away.

"The videos are very entertaining but are also very educational," Headrick said. "I think it would be helpful to watch this with a loved one before the separation takes place."

Many people find different and creative ways to communicate over technology while they are separated from friends, family and loved ones and Moore said she is hoping to stimulate that creativity with this program.

"I am hoping that we will challenge people to use technology differently," Moore said. "To really connect at a more emotional level and I am hoping that we will provide some additional communication resources so that people are able to think about how they communicate in a relationship, so that their communication is more meaningful."