By Army Sgt. Angela Parady
121st Public Affairs Detachment
AUGUSTA, Maine, April 30, 2014 – When Michelle Silvermane
first said she was thinking about going into the military, Amber Silvermane
thought she was out of her mind -- she never thought a mom could do something
like that.
Women make up less than 14 percent of the Army’s ranks, and
less than 10 percent of military recruits are older than 35, so it is no wonder
her mom’s seemingly abrupt decision came as a shock to Amber.
Struggling to overcome physical fears and complacency, the
37-year-old was determined to realize a dream she had held onto since she was
young, and she was going to convince her daughter to join her.
Amber and Michelle enlisted in the Maine Army National Guard
in 2007, less than a month apart from one another. Thanks to a sergeant at the
Military Entrance Processing Center, they were enrolled in a buddy program,
meaning they would stick together during their training. They went through
basic training at Fort Jackson, S.C., then continued on to their advanced
individual training at Fort Sam Houston, Texas.
Michelle said she had always wanted to join the military,
but having children in her late teens made that seem like an impossible dream
for years.
“My mother worked three jobs her whole life just trying to
support us kids, … but she never really had anything to call her own,” Amber
said. “She always put us first, and it was always about us kids. She was the
one who really wanted to join.”
When her youngest was 16, Michelle’s mind was made up.
Michelle said her husband, who served in the Army until Amber was 1, was very
supportive of her decision. Knowing it was something she had really wanted to
do, and knowing she had the support of her family, Michelle went to the recruiter.
She asked Amber -- who recently had graduated from high school and was working
the graveyard shift at a call-in center -- come with her.
Amber is now a sergeant, and her mother is a specialist.
“Amber was not going in a direction I approved of,” her mother
said. “She wasn’t doing anything illegal, or super bad, but I could see where
it could go really bad, really quickly.”
Amber, now the full-time administrative noncommissioned
officer for Maine’s Joint Force Headquarters here, said she never gave the
military any thought until her mother told her she was going. She remembers
thinking that the military would never be a good match for her.
“My dad looked at me, and said, ‘What are you doing right
now? You aren't going anywhere. If you hate it, it’s not active duty -- its one
weekend a month, and two weeks a year. Anyone can do that.’ He was right, in a
way,” she said.
Amber enlisted in January, and her mother, who also works
full-time for the Maine National Guard at Camp Keyes here, enlisted the next
month. The two were matched up, and left for basic training that November.
“I knew mentally, I could do it,” said Michelle, a healthcare
specialist for the Maine Army National Guard Medical Detachment, and full-time
case manager for medical and behavioral health. Her own life experiences would
give her an advantage over some of the younger recruits who may have a
difficult time being yelled at or ordered around, she said, adding that she
knew she could look past the yelling and screaming and see the idea was to
create a mentally tough and disciplined soldier.
But changing her mindset as a 37-year-old wife and mother
was more difficult than she thought, she said.
“I went from being the one who organized everyone’s lives,
the one who made sure they did what they were supposed to, when they were
supposed to, and were where they were supposed to be, to being told what to do
and when to do it,” she said. “I think that was the hardest struggle for me.”
While both women were ready to help each other along the
way, they said, they also were ready to be successful independently.
But Amber recalled when her mother was almost sent back because
she was going to fail basic rifle marksmanship.
“My mother is an extraordinarily smart woman. She is driven
and passionate, but can be easily discouraged,” Amber said. “To this day, she
struggles with shooting. After a day at the range, we would come together and
she would be tearing herself apart. I would look at her and tell her, ‘You are
smart enough, driven enough; you have to stop talking yourself out of things.
You have to stop being so detrimental to your own progress.’”
That blunt support helped the team graduate from basic
training together, and quickly reversed roles when they both arrived in Texas
for their health care specialist training. Michelle would have to rein Amber in
at the end of a long day of classroom activities, almost forcing her to focus
and study so that they could make it through together.
“She wanted to go for a walk, go to the gym or the PX, but
there was a very real chance that she wasn't going to make it through AIT the
first time if she didn't buckle down,” Michelle said. “I would tell her, you
are not getting recycled, not here, not now. Open that book. We are going to
study and we are going to get you through this.”
Now, they work doors away from one another, and get lunch
together nearly every day. Amber said her mom has become a personal counselor
for her, and one she doesn't have to pay for. Because they both live and
breathe the Army life on a full-time basis, she said, they understand a lot of
the same things.
“You don’t always know who you can talk to -- who will keep
what you say confidential,” Amber said. “But I can tell my mom anything. She
can tell me anything, [and] it doesn’t go anywhere. She gets me.”
Michelle said she has seen a change in Amber, who has found
focus and direction, while maintaining her happy and carefree outlook.
“I never expected either of us to accomplish what we have
already accomplished,” Amber said. “Everyone has aspirations to be something
someday, but that’s just it. No one defines it. I never thought my mom would
really do this. I know I never thought I would be here.”
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