By Donna Miles
American Forces Press Service
WASHINGTON, May 10, 2013 – Army Staff Sgt. Alisa Ballard will
spend her very first Mother’s Day this weekend deployed thousands of
miles away from her 11-month-old son, Christopher.
Army
Maj. Yolanda Poullard, deployed to Kabul, Afghanistan, will spend her
first Mother’s Day away from her 5-year-old daughter, Alahna. U.S. Army
photo by Patricia Ryan
(Click photo for screen-resolution image);high-resolution image available. |
|
Ballard is among thousands of military moms deployed around the
world who will observe a subdued Mother’s Day on May 12, relying on
technology, care packages and family photos to help bridge the miles
between them and their children.
Ballard, an information systems
analyst from Fort Hood, Texas, plans to Skype from NATO Camp Kaia in
Kabul, Afghanistan, to her parents’ home in Woodbridge, Va. As she
fusses over her own mother, for whom she has ordered both fresh flowers
and a fruit arrangement, Ballard will dote over Christopher, who is
living with his grandparents while both his parents serve in
Afghanistan.
Ballard quickly established the ritual of regular
Skype sessions and telephone calls to maintain a presence in her son’s
life after she arrived in Afghanistan two weeks ago.
“He jumps and laughs and tries to grab the phone or computer,” she said, a low chuckle in her voice.
But Ballard is quick to admit that leaving her son behind for a
year-long deployment, just as he is standing on his own and preparing to
take his first steps, has been no laughing matter.
Ballard said
she felt tremendous guilt for months before leaving -- not only toward
Christopher, but also because she “felt like I was impeding” on her
parents’ lives.
“There’s nothing I could ever do to repay them,” she said. “But as this has shown me, family is always there for you.”
Rather than letting herself think too much about spending her first
Mother’s Day in a combat zone, Ballard said she’ll focus on her own
mother and how grateful she is for that sense of family.
So when
Ballard rises on Sunday, she’ll put in a typical workday, hit the gym
once or twice and possibly do some online college work.
“In order
for me to cope, it has to be just another day,” Ballard said. “I’m not
there and he’s not here, so I have to put myself in a different frame of
mind and treat it as any other day.”
Ballard’s stoicism is
common among deployed mothers who are steeling themselves for what they
acknowledge could be a tough day -- whether it’s their first Mother’s
Day away from their children or another in a long line of missed
birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.
Air Force Tech. Sgt. Sonja
Parks, a medic assigned to the NATO Multinational Role 1 Satellite
Clinic at Forward Operating Base Oqab in Afghanistan, said she’s
planning to retreat to the dormitory room she shares with an Army
captain at Kabul International Airport for a private family celebration
via Facetime.
Parks will open the special package that’s still en
route to Afghanistan while 9-year-old Sarah, 2-year-old Rachel and her
husband, Air Force Tech. Sgt. Michael Parks, watch from afar near
Andrews Air Force Base, Md.
“My 2-year-old loves to see me open
the boxes she sends me, and she’s so proud of herself about her
colorings or any other things she has put in there,” Parks said. “I put
them up on the wall or around the room. It’s a piece of them, with me
all the time.”
The celebration will be far different from
Mother’s Days at home, which for the Parks family typically begins with
morning church services followed by a picnic at a nearby park.
“It’s always a very special day,” Parks said. “My husband cleans the whole house and the girls spoil me all day.”
Parks and thousands of other deployed mothers will have to break from
family traditions this year. Several told American Forces Press Service
they’re preparing themselves from what could be a tough day.
“It’s hard being away,” Parks said, pausing to control her emotions as
her voice cracked over the phone. “You realize that you are not
experiencing those things, and that you will never get that time --
those holidays or those days -- back.”
Parks said days like Mother’s Day remind her of all the sacrifices her children make for her military career.
But, like Ballard, Parks said she also knows that dwelling on what she
and her family are missing only makes the separation more difficult.
“If you think like that, it makes the deployment even harder,” she
said. “So you have to keep positive, focus on the mission here and
remember that you will be home soon.”
Parks said she’s hopeful
that the drawdown in Afghanistan will mean fewer and shorter deployments
in the future. But because medics are in high demand for all kinds of
missions around the world, she recognizes that the end of combat
operations in Afghanistan doesn’t mean family separations will be over.
“‘Normal,’ for my family, is that either I or my husband is gone, and I
don’t think that will change until were retire from the military,” she
said.
Army Maj. Yolanda Poullard, deployed to Kabul as a member
of the Afghanistan-Pakistan Hands program, also is preparing herself for
her first Mother’s Day away from her 5-year-old daughter, Alahna.
Since arriving in Afghanistan in December, she’s already had a taste of
what to expect. She spent an admittedly miserable Christmas holiday,
still in transition and without the benefit of a permanent Afghanistan
address so she could receive a holiday boost by mail. Less than a month
later, Poullard missed out on Alahna’s fifth birthday.
“Being
away is really, really rough,” Poullard said. So for Mother’s Day, she
plans to keep herself busy, going to both morning and evening church
services. A highlight, she said, will be Skyping or calling her mother,
husband and daughter, all in central Louisiana.
She’ll also open
the two cards that arrived from home, which she set aside to open on
Mother’s Day. Not able to buy a card in Afghanistan, Pollard made her
own to send to her mother, along with an Afghan scarf.
On special
days -- or especially hard days -- in Afghanistan, Poullard said
deployed troops rely on each other’s support. Being able to offer
positive words of encourage to those who need it goes a long way to “let
them know that you are in that same situation, and they are not alone,”
she said.
But the best way to cope, she said, is to focus on
what they are accomplishing in Afghanistan. Poullard said she gets a lot
of personal gratification from her work with the reintegration program
and supporting initiatives for Afghan women and children.
“The
bottom line is that we have a job and a mission to do: to help provide
peace for Afghanistan,” she said. “It’s a sacrifice we all volunteered
to make, and in the end, we are helping to make this a better place.”
Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel recognized deployed mothers -- and all
other mothers and grandmothers in the military family -- in a Mother’s
Day message posted on the Defense Department’s website.
“To all
the mothers of our men and women who selflessly serve our country, happy
Mother’s Day,” Hagel said in his message. “To the many mothers serving
in uniform around the world, we thank you for the sacrifices you make
every day to keep all of our family safe back home. Your hard work and
dedication to raising children while defending our nation is an
inspiration to all of us.”
Hagel also recognized mothers with a
spouse or child serving in uniform. Many of these mothers, he noted,
juggle fulltime jobs while raising children and volunteering in their
communities.
“These mothers perform heroically every day,” he said. “We are truly indebted to them for their service.”
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