From Desert Storm to OEF, Air Force couple has seen it all

by Staff Sgt. Abigail Klein
931st Air Refueling Group

12/7/2013 - ORLANDO, Fla. -- During his first deployment in 1991, Air Force reservist Shawn Swarz and his college sweetheart in Connecticut coped with the unfamiliar experience by joking that his overseas duty was like a "semester abroad" that some students do.

Operation Desert Storm was the U.S. military's largest foreign engagement since the Vietnam War ended more than 15 years earlier. His unit included senior non-commissioned officers and leaders who had deployed before during their military service, but it was a new experience for Swarz and Michaela, his girlfriend of three years.

"Back then, I had a family support packet that I handed her before I deployed. This was really the only access she had to the resources that are available here," he said. "Today, she can visit websites and attend programs about this; it's much easier to get the information."

Now a major and long since married to Michaela, Swarz is a traditional reservist and commander of the Air Force Reserve's 315th Security Forces Squadron at Joint Base Charleston, S.C. He recently returned from his seventh deployment. The couple was much better prepared for this separation than the earliest ones, they said last weekend during an Air Force Reserve Command Yellow Ribbon Program training event for post- and pre-deployers.

Back in 1991, Michaela was a two-hour drive from the nearest military installation, Westover Air Reserve Base, Mass. While she was grateful that her future husband's command staff called to check on her well-being, no true support network existed.

"It was all new to me and I didn't know what to expect," said Michaela. "I had to muddle my way through each of his early deployments, which was difficult because there weren't a lot of (military family members) around where we were living."

Swarz returned from his deployment in May 1991 and didn't deploy again until 2002. By then, he had married Michaela and they were parents of a 3-year-old son. Being a mother while her spouse was deployed was difficult for Michaela, she acknowledged.

"You have to be both mom and dad," she said. "When you do have children, you have to be both self-sufficient and strong to keep things as normal as possible for them. You can't break down and have fits [about your spouse being deployed]."

In addition to learning a new parenting style, Michaela, like many other military spouses, had to learn how to perform tasks she hadn't normally done when Shawn was home.

"She learned how to plow our driveway and started to take things to the dump; all things I normally did," said the major. "When I got back I joked that she didn't even need me anymore."

The Swarzes have been married for 18 years. Michaela is a stay-at-home mother to two sons, now 14 and 9.

At the Yellow Ribbon event in Orlando, the couple was among more than 750 Air Force reservists and their loved ones who had the chance to speak about their post- and pre-deployment experiences. The program promotes the well-being of reservists and their families by connecting them with resources. It began in 2008 following a congressional mandate for the Department of Defense to assist reservists and National Guard members in maintaining resiliency as they transition between their military and civilian roles.

"Because we're reservists, we're sometimes detached from active duty bases, so we don't have access to the benefits and resources that are available to us," Michaela said. "Yellow Ribbon provides a captive audience to present all the options to the families of reservists; benefits that they may not have otherwise been aware of."

Another feature of the program is the presence of the children of reservists. While Shawn and Michaela attended briefings about Heroes to Hire, the Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act, Military OneSource, and Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve, their sons were grouped by age and played a variety of team-building games with their peers to help them interact with others who have experienced pangs and frustration before and after a deployment.

"I think even if they don't say it out loud, they [their sons] see other kids going through [deployments] and it helps them realize that they aren't the only ones," said Shawn.

The importance of this exposure was not lost on Michaela.

"Our kids were often the only ones in their school who had parents in the military, so their schools and classmates weren't really sure how to deal with that," she said.

The deployment experience has changed greatly since 1991 for reservists and their families, the Swarzes agreed, listing the benefits of today's Air Force support programs, including Yellow Ribbon. Though future deployments remain a possibility, the Swarzes said they are prepared, and that each deployment has only made them stronger.