Wisconsin National Guard provides marriage survival training

Wisconsin National Guard Public Affairs Office

Militaries have always trained their warriors in the skills needed to survive combat. Not until recently has the U.S. military offered training to its married service members in the skills needed to help marriages survive the rigors of a relationship as well as the strains of deployment.

The Strong Bonds program began modestly in 1999 with a Hawaii-based infantry division, and today encompasses all of the active and reserve components of the Army. A chaplain-led program for commanders that builds relationship resiliency, the mission of Strong Bonds is to increase service member readiness by strengthening the family relationship through education and skills training in an off-site "getaway" setting.

The Wisconsin National Guard has provided these services to all service members, not only its own Soldiers and Airmen, for the past few years through its Service Members Support Division. Relationship programs include a seminar for singles on building strong relationships, a workshop for families on developing resilience, a relationship enhancement session for married couples as well as a new offering - "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor.

"PREP [Prevention, Relationship Enhancement Program] has been a real strong foundational thing we've been doing," said Maj. Douglas Hedman, state chaplain for the Wisconsin National Guard. PREP teaches couples how to improve communication techniques and explains strategies for resolving problems, but it is considered a workshop and not marital counseling or therapy.

"It's not the silver bullet," Hedman said, "but it's certainly helpful. The Army's making a great investment."

PREP has been well attended, and some service members have attended the weekend program more than once for refresher training. Hedman said that SMSD wanted to offer something different in addition to PREP, and chose the popular "Laugh Your Way" seminar. Hedman and his staff completed training to present the video seminar, which was offered for the first time through SMSD Jan. 28-30 at The Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake, Wis.

"I love you just the way you are - what a bunch of baloney," Gungor, a pastor from Stevens Point, says during one of the sessions. "The truth is we love you in spite of the way you are."

In another observation, Gungor referenced a biblical proverb about how you can't have an ox without a messy ox stall, but the ox's strength is valuable in the field.

"There is no such thing as a poo-free marriage," Gungor said. "This weekend is not about attaining a perfect marriage - it's about achieving a good positive-to-poo ratio."

Hedman said the seminar was well received, with many participants comparing the program favorably with PREP.

"I had someone approach me during the break and say, 'My husband and I haven't laughed this hard in years,'" he said.

The Service Members Support Division Strong Bonds schedule presently includes three marriage enrichment weekends, one additional "Laugh Your Way" weekend, two premarital interpersonal choices and knowledge weekends and two family wellness weekends. Service members can register online. For additional information, contact Carolyn Morgan, Family Assistance Center, at 800-292-9464.