By Corina Notyce, DCoE Strategic
Communications
The support of friends and family
members is critical for service members experiencing symptoms of posttraumatic
stress disorder (PTSD), especially when many service members choose not to get
the help they need because of the stigma that surrounds psychological health
care. Paul Rose, the author of this Navy Medicine Live blog post knows this
firsthand. Read about how he helped his brother, a U.S. Army veteran, get the
help he needed for his combat-related PTSD. And then explore the resources
identified at the end of this post to support military members and those who
support them.
When my kid brother left for Iraq he was
just that — a kid. He returned home shattered inside. The “dark pit,” as he
calls it, was hidden underneath his gruff, infantry-tattooed exterior. No one
in our family could have predicted what he would experience or the
after-effects that continue to haunt him today.
Many sailors, soldiers, Marines and
airmen return from deployments with posttraumatic stress disorder. As a family
member of a person suffering from PTSD, we must be strong for them in a variety
of ways to help them combat the disorder. I received an up-close and personal
look at how it can affect a person, when my younger brother came to live with
me after separating from the U.S. Army.
Shortly after graduating from the U.S.
Army Infantry School at Fort Benning, Ga., my younger brother found his
newly-issued boots on the sandy ground in Mosul, Iraq — during a time that
would turn out to be one of the bloodiest during the war. His main duties were
to provide infantry support to convoys, security detail, and to locate and
apprehend insurgents.
He came home with an inescapable burden
on his back. He continually woke up, drenched in sweat, with nightmares so real
he could still see the terrifying images in his dark room. His mind was filled
with the lives he had to take, the friends he lost — some to the enemy, some to
suicide — and the near-misses of death’s cold, bony grip on his own neck.
He talked to no one about the sleepless
nights and the recurring feelings of depression and hopelessness. The stigma
associated with being diagnosed with PTSD kept him from seeking help. The
disorder eventually caused him to exit the Army before his enlistment was up. A
short time later he’d be living in my finished basement, as my wife and I
adjusted to life with our two kids and a newly discharged war veteran.
My brother would continually become
overwhelmed with routine things like paying his bills, getting up for work or
dealing with relationships. PTSD was winning the battle against him, and he did
not know how to fight back. Even after he hung up his uniform, he still carried
himself like an invincible infantry soldier. Deep down he knew he needed help,
but was still too afraid, ashamed and overwhelmed to seek it.
The year he spent with us was an
extremely trying time. As he was learning how to get better, we were learning
how to help him. Being a family member of someone who has been diagnosed with
combat-related PTSD can be difficult, but the most important thing we did was
to provide a stable support system for him.
There were times my brother could be so
frustrating that we would get into screaming matches. He would peel out of the
neighborhood, the screech of his car tires echoing through the house, and I
would pray he came home that night. His behavior became more erratic. I helped
him apply for jobs. He would hold one for a short time and then quit, normally
after losing his temper or becoming fed-up with it. All of these actions are a
correlation to the internal fight he was struggling with.
After much convincing by my wife and I,
he finally overcame his fear of the stigma associated with the disorder and
went to the local Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) medical center, where he
was evaluated and given a service-connected disability for PTSD, as well as for
injuring his back while deployed, but most importantly access to the tools and
programs to fight it.
The nightmares still remained. We
continued our support. I gathered research on the subject, finding that a mix
of therapy, medication and a healthy lifestyle could decrease the effects. He
started taking a prescribed medication and spoke with social workers at the VA
hospital regularly. I dragged him to workouts with me and created healthy
athletic competition for us, including intramural sports, which was something
he enjoyed and looked forward to all week. We made sure he remembered his
appointments, encouraged him in his work and most importantly, ensured that he
knew he was a valuable part of our family dynamic. I tried to keep him from
getting overwhelmed by telling him to take things “one day at a time.” It
became a mantra for us.
It’s been a few years since my brother
was in Iraq with an M4 slung over his shoulder. And he’s a long way from the
8-year-old who dug foxholes in my mother’s backyard while dreaming of being a
soldier. He would never take back his time in the Army and believes very much
in his mission in Iraq. When he eventually made me one of the few people he
shared his experiences with, he confessed with tear-filled eyes of times he
came close to taking his own life. He assured me that war is not glorious or
heroic. He did what he had to do because the soldiers serving beside him needed
him, and each one of them would have done the same thing, he said.
After a year with us, he had gotten his
PTSD under control, with help from the VA and support from his family. He
continues to maintain his appointments, take his medication, work out on a
regular basis and has a steady job. He is living on his own and is still
fighting hard.
While there is no clear cut route to
helping a family member with combat-related PTSD, the one thing we can do for
those close to us who are suffering, is to offer support. Without his family, I
don’t know where my brother would be today — if he would even be alive. But I
do know that he is winning the war — one day at a time.
This month, the VA is observing PTSD
Awareness Month. Visit the National Center for PTSD website to learn about
posttraumatic stress disorder and resources available to support service
members and families. Additional resources provided by Defense Centers of
Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury and others are
listed below:
■DCoE Outreach Center — 866-966-1020 or
resouces@dcoeoutreach.org
■Veterans Crisis Line — 800-273-Talk
(8255) and press “1”
■PTSD Coach mobile app
■About Face
■Real Warriors Campaign
■Afterdeployment.org
■Military Pathways
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