Command sponsorship benefits extended to same-sex spouses in Italy

by Airman 1st Class Ryan Conroy
31st Fighter Wing Public Affairs

8/7/2014 - AVIANO AIR BASE, Italy  -- Command sponsorship will now be granted to same-sex spouses of U.S. service members and Department of Defense civilians assigned to Italy, allowing gay and lesbian civilian spouses access to base facilities and other benefits available to military spouses.

The sponsorship marks another historic installment in the campaign toward same-sex relationship equality in the military, as well as a special reunion for one Aviano Airman and her family.

Staff Sgt. Mishon Montgomery, Aviano Airman Leadership School instructor, met her future wife, Maria, when she was 18 years old while living in Pensacola, Fl. Staff Sgt. Montgomery enlisted in the Air Force in 2002, when the "Don't ask, don't tell" was still in effect. She describes the next ten years of her life as "living in the shadows."

"We were asked to do our jobs and keep our personal life in the dark," said Mishon. "I did the absolute best job I could and I did everything the Air Force asked of me because the Air Force was giving me a lot too."

In 2012, DADT was revoked and in 2013, the Defense of Marriage Act was considered unconstitutional and not only could same-sex Airmen declare their orientation publically, but the Air Force could now recognize their marriages as well.

"There were a lot of big changes, really fast," Montgomery. "When DADT was taken away, I was skeptical, but in my entire Air Force career, the Air Force gets it right for their people. I always kept faith that they would get this right too."

While stationed at Tyndall Air Force Base, Fl., in December, 2013, Mishon married Maria and assumed the responsibilities as a mother to Maria's four-year-old daughter, Ariana. Something, she says, is one of the most rewarding experiences in her life.

"My new-found family means everything to me - they are my foundation," said Mishon Montgomery. "That even falls into being a comprehensive Airman, having a foundation to fall upon when things get rough."

Then, Mishon faced a difficult and emotionally taxing decision. She was already accepted for a job at Airman Leadership School at Aviano, but that meant leaving her family behind.

"That was the first time I've had to make that kind of decision," said Staff Sgt. Montgomery. "Accept what the military was offering - my chance to give back to an organization that had given so much to me. Or, stay with my family in Florida."

She chose the latter and painfully bid farewell to her daughter, whom she left with a grandmother. Maria, on the other hand, followed her newlywed to Italy in hopes of securing a work visa to stay in the country long-term, which didn't recognize their marriage from a legal standpoint.

Prior to the sponsorship change, the Defense Department could not extend full benefits or command sponsorship to gay and lesbian families because of uncertainties regarding the status of forces agreement with Italy.

Among the most critical components for families is one that provides accompanying family members -- dependents -- exemptions from passport and visa regulations, allowing them to remain in country while the service members is stationed there. While spouses and families could often move to Italy with their service member without command sponsorship, they are left footing the bill for transportation, housing, passports and visa costs.

Maria applied for a work visa and began working in a non-appropriated funds position on base to stay together. But, their entire family still wasn't together.

On July 24, Mishon received the email that would change her whole situation for the better - the DoD and Italy came to an agreement that would recognize same-sex spouses as dependents under the SOFA agreement.

"We started the process immediately and I sent Maria back home to Florida to get everything situated so we could get her command sponsored and bring our daughter here," said Mishon. "I just needed to keep the faith that the Air Force would make things right and they came through for me and my family."

Now, Maria and Arianna are making their way to Aviano to live with their mother and wife as a family. Mishon hopes the command sponsorship goes through within the next month.