By Wisconsin National Guard Public Affairs– April 25, 2011
Capt. Kristin Boustany
Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Coordinator
“I was in the Air National Guard for 10 years,” shared a former member of the Wisconsin Air National Guard. “After Sept. 11, 2001 I was activated. Almost immediately the sexual harassment began, eventually leading to my element leader sexually assaulting me….
“I felt the sexual assault would ruin my career, and I also believed that no one would believe me. I chose not to say anything, or get any type of help that I desperately needed at the time. I began getting anxiety attacks and developed depression, and I began isolating myself as much as possible. I was afraid I would be put on profile if I revealed my anxiety and depression issues, and I thought that being on profile would jeopardize my job by costing my security clearance and keeping me from carrying a weapon.
“No matter how afraid I was at the time, I wish I had gotten help when I first knew I needed it. After I got out of the military, I received the help I needed and am so thankful that I did — getting help eventually saved my life. Had I known then what I know now, I would have done things differently. Please don’t let fear stop you from getting the help you need.”
Each day, people witness a continuum of behaviors that range from being respectful and safe, to sexually abusive and violent. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I, and the leaders of the Wisconsin National Guard, hope to raise awareness about sexual violence and to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual harassment and assault.
“I was raped in August of 2009,” shared a Wisconsin Guard Soldier. “In a different state and away from everyone and everything I knew. I had lost my phone the night before, and I had no contact with anyone I knew.
“I was overwhelmed by questions: What will happen to me if I tell? Am I just over-reacting? What if nobody believes me? What will I tell my husband — will he believe me? The feeling of complete loss of control was overwhelming at this point.
“Looking back now, I think driving the five miles to my class and telling my instructor what happened the night before was the best thing I could have done. I was given the number for the Wisconsin Sexual Assault Response Coordinator and contacted her when I got home. I went through medical examinations, was given the Plan B drug the morning of the rape, and along the way I found a therapist. It took a year and a few therapy sessions, but I feel I’m better now.
“I have kept my secret to myself for the most part, telling only those people I felt needed to know. I also did not press charges — I knew it would be his word against mine, and I wasn’t willing to go through all that again. That was my choice, but you also have a choice. Don’t be afraid of people not believing you.
“My supervisor knew what had happened and let me take as much time as I needed for appointments and just for overall healing. I didn’t believe it when I first heard that you need recovery time after a rape just like you do after a car accident. I thought I was tougher than that, but I was wrong. There were days when I had absolutely no concentration and couldn’t sit at my desk for more than a minute or two. This happens to some people after a trauma —it’s normal, and it does ease up.
“I am now a unit victim advocate, and the biggest take-away I can offer is to seek help right away. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, and the program is designed with the victim in mind. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone or anything else.”
Have you been affected by sexual assault?
Help is available — don’t be afraid to ask. Visit SafeHelpLine.org.
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