Grand Forks family highlights key issues during AMC leadership visit

by Staff Sgt. Susan L. Davis
319th Air Base Wing Public Affairs

2/13/2014 - GRAND FORKS AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. -- The Warriors of the North were recently able to highlight the importance of pride, people and respect in the Air Force family when hosting a group of distinguished visitors this week.

Air Mobility Command Commander Gen. Paul Selva, his wife, Ricki, and AMC Command Chief Master Sgt. Victoria Gamble spent Feb. 11 and 12 here getting to know the Airmen and families of Grand Forks Air Force Base.

Mrs. Selva, one of the first women to ever graduate from the Air Force Academy in the class of 1980, focused her visit on the families' perspective of military service, dignity and respect in the ranks and force restructuring.

Breakout session

On Tuesday, Mrs. Selva attended a breakout session with Key Spouses, mentors and first sergeants at the Northern Lights Club Warrior Lounge. There, attendees discussed some trending Air Force topics, including force restructuring, sexual assault within the military and the Key Spouse program.

"Force restructuring is a huge deal in the Air Force and throughout the Department of Defense right now," she said. "When you see your name on that list, and you have to start making contingency plans, it's personal. Your life is completely changed."

She reassured listeners, saying that there is opportunity in every disappointment, and encouraged couples to attend the Airman & Family Readiness Center's Transition Assistance Program together and tap into every resource available to them.

When asked the best way to form a thriving, robust Key Spouse program, Mrs. Selva answered that communication and continuity are vital.

"Many times what we see is when someone moves away and someone else takes over for that person's position, some of the momentum gets lost," she said. "Do your best to communicate effectively and get that warm hand-off to keep things running smoothly."
She also advised that the best way for anyone to stay focused and effective is to take care of themselves first.

"When you fly on an airplane, and they give you the briefing about the oxygen masks, they always tell you to put one on yourself first before helping anyone else," she said. "It's the same in other aspects of life, when you take care of yourself and make time for yourself, it makes for a happier, healthier, stronger you and that's better for everyone around you."

What you focus on is what will grow

On Wednesday, Bonnie Bauman, spouse of Col. Paul Bauman, 319th Air Base Wing commander, and Becky Duncan, spouse of 319th ABW Command Chief Master Sgt. David Duncan, hosted a Deployed Spouses Breakfast at the Bauman residence on base where attendees focused on the triumphs and tragedies of being the spouse of a deployed active duty member.

Stories shared included personal anecdotes from about everything from driving in blizzard conditions, independently repairing the ventilation system at home, parenting multiple children under school age, being consistent with children in the other parent's absence, and keeping holiday and traditions during deployments.

"I'm a very positive person, and I like to remind myself that what you focus on is what will grow," Mrs. Selva said. "If you focus on the negative, you'll expand on the negative, but if you focus on the positive, the positive is what will expand."

She said that keeping busy is a key component of making the time go by faster, and remembering that every day that passes is one day closer to deployed spouses coming home.

"One thing deployments are good for is that they're a reset time," Mrs. Selva said. "They remind us why we got married in the first place and why we stay together."

Changing the culture

During her visit, Mrs. Selva also got to hear from several members of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response team, including victim advocates, a judge advocate, an Office of Special Investigations detective, and more.

Each discussed his or her role in promoting a culture of dignity and respect within the Air Force, as well as how they fit into the sexual assault and domestic violence response effort.

Tech. Sgt. Althea Hunter, 319th Equal Opportunity NCO-in-charge, said her role in the Air Force culture change revolves largely around education and reaching out to individual units.

"I came into the Air Force thinking that everyone is trustworthy and upstanding, but we are really just a microcosm of the larger culture, and it's naive to think that way," she said. "What we see a lot of times when there are racial or sexual jokes or other inappropriate talk in the workplace, there is a fear of retaliation or ruffling feathers, and it's frowned upon to come forward."

Some panel members agreed, and even admitted guilt on their own part.

"I didn't really realize it when I was younger, but I used to be part of the problem," said Master Sgt. Jesse Maki, a sexual assault victim advocate. "Now I'm helping to advocate for the culture change we are pushing for in the Air Force."

Maki was able to reach out to the active duty husband of a civilian woman who was sexually assaulted in base housing last summer.

"I knew he needed help as much as she did, because the family members are always secondary victims in these types of crimes," he said. "I wanted to be there to offer my support."

Capt. Carman Leone, 319th Judge Advocate, highlighted the landmark case that was recently prosecuted here, where the Airman responsible for the rape was handed an adjudicated sentence of 34 years in prison.

Mrs. Selva, impressed with the case, also touched on a sexual assault statistic within the ranks, citing that one in every five women will be sexually assaulted at some point in their career.

"That number is very troubling to me," she said. "That number is no better than what college campuses are currently seeing. The military only takes the best and brightest--we are not a frat house. We should be better than that."

She explained that anyone with a loved one considering a career in military service should be able to feel confident and reassured about that choice, and though there has been much progress made over the years, there is still a long way to go.

Touring the Tunnel

One of the final stops on Mrs. Selva's visit to the base was the Tunnel of Oppression, an interactive sensitivity training tool where visitors enter a building with various rooms devoted to key Air Force resiliency issues, including drug and alcohol abuse, suicide and depression.

"The great thing about the tunnel is that anyone can benefit from this training," said Chief Master Sgt. Marlon Carcamo, 319th Logistics Readiness Squadron superintendent. "Those of us who have been around for a while and have been through a divorce or multiple divorces, suicidal thoughts or anything, could gain a lot from the experience."

Mrs. Bauman and Mrs. Duncan offered Mrs. Selva their thanks for the time spent with Grand Forks Air Force Base members and for the fellowship and mentorship she offered during her visit.

"I just want to thank Mrs. Selva for taking the time to come and be with us and share with us what she knows," Mrs. Bauman said. "This time for mentorship is priceless, and it really means a lot that she was able to come and share this time with us."